


B 'n' E 'n' P (Breaking and Entering and Petting)

by heyguysitsmerob



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: But More Like Witty Not Like Laugh Out Loud, Comedy, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 18:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7448950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyguysitsmerob/pseuds/heyguysitsmerob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pekoyama breaks into a classmate's cottage late at night in order to obtain something that she's wanted for a long time. Shockingly, things do not go as planned. Takes place during Chapter 1 FTE's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	B 'n' E 'n' P (Breaking and Entering and Petting)

Everyone was almost in place. The stars had just begun to fade into existence overhead, and nearly all of the hotel’s inhabitants had gone to sleep. Pekoyama tightened her grip on the crux of the roof she sat on, remaining perfectly still. She allowed herself one wiff of the cool night air that tostled her pigtails ever so slightly. Tonight was the night.

The two people that she was waiting for came into sight. Hinata was very obviously struggling to keep up with Kuzuryuu’s quick strides. His whole life he had been determined to make up for what his legs lacked in length with speed. While he shot toward his cottage at high speed, the best that Hinata could do was trail in his wake. “Have you seen Pekoyama?” Hinata asked.

Kuzuryuu didn’t even bother to look at the guy behind him. “I don’t know why you’d think I’d know where that freaky sword bitch is—” He paused, rumpled his eyebrows, and continued.. “—but it has nothing to do with me.” The pair arrived in front of Kuzuryuu’s cottage, who then swiped his e-Handbook next to the door. He threw it open and stepped inside, his body language seeming to imply that Hinata was not welcome to enter.

“It’s just that I found this weird seven-bladed sword in the Monomono Machine, and I thought she’d like it.” Kuzuryuu turned to face Hinata, who at some point had produced the strangest blade anyone had ever seen from his backpack. Despite being momentarily taken aback by the eccentric weapon, Kuzuryuu quickly regained his composure. His hand rested on the door, ready to slam it shut in the seven-sword-wielding boy’s face. “I haven’t seen her since lunch, and I was starting to get worried.”

The moon hung overhead, reminding the two boys how late it had gotten. Kuzuryuu’s expression hardened. “If you try to talk to me one more time without a fuckin’ body announcement, I’ll use that sword of yours to cut your dick off!” he said. Hinata frowned. “ _ Seven _ times!”

“I don’t understa—” The door closed, and Hinata was left standing alone with his septabladed sword in the middle of the night. He trudged back to his own cottage, disappearing inside without another word. 

Pekoyama’s vantage point from atop a nearby cottage had allowed her to witness the whole conversation. She couldn’t help smiling, if only at the corners of her mouth for a couple of seconds. The smooth wooden panelling of the roof forced her to adjust her position periodically to stop from sliding off, but there was no discomfort beyond that. She had certainly been perched in more precarious positions. Her usual bamboo shinai had been swapped out for an actual katana blade, which was now resting on the roof in front of her. 

It was admirable how well Kuzuryuu had managed to pretend that the two of them had no relationship. If she found an opportunity to steal a private moment later on, she may applaud him for it. His only minor screwup was when he called her a “freaky sword bitch”, which she found perhaps a bit harsh, but that could be easily overlooked. She might make a heartless gangster out of him yet.

Hinata’s strange offering intrigued her. While she normally didn’t have any thoughts to spare for the skinny boy, she took a moment to decide exactly how she would react to such a gift. It was completely impractical, and she suspected that he only wanted to give it to her because technically it was a sword, and she was the only one on the island who carried a sword with her everywhere she went. Perhaps she would say something along the lines of “Is it really okay for me to receive this?” Yes. That would suffice.

Regardless, she had wasted enough time lollygagging. So far, her plan had gone perfectly. She had made an appearance at lunch, even though a handful of almonds an hour previously would sustain her until the next day, and commented loudly on how “The protein content of the chicken is sufficient, and I would eat more if I were not already full.” Owari then stated that being full should not be a deterrent from continuing to eat, which Tsumiki meekly contested, after which Pekoyama excused herself. The whole ordeal had been exhausting. 

The purpose of her outburst at lunch was to solidify herself in everyone’s memory. She took the first opportunity she found to steal away onto the roof that she was now perched on, and no one other than Hinata, who always asked a few too many questions for Pekoyama’s liking, had noticed her absence. She then waited for night to fall and for everyone to return to their cottages for the night, Kuzuryuu and Hinata being the last of the sixteen students to retire, aside from Pekoyama herself. 

It was time to get to business. The feel of the steel sword sliding out of the sheath was pleasant, and the moon glinted off the flat of the blade beautifully, but she had long since ceased being fascinated by such things. Keeping one hand on the flat side of the blade to steady her movement, she began sawing back and forth into the wood beneath her feet.

Studies of her own cottage led her to believe that she should be directly above one of the support beams crossing over the room. With this point of entry she could easily drop down into the room, get what she came for, and crawl back up by use of the beam. Whether or not her victim noticed the remaining hole in their roof was of no consequence. By then it would be too late. 

_ Yes,  _ she thought as her sword finally slid all the way through the wood, allowing her to saw back and forth more effectively.  _ He’ll never know what hit him. _

Her breath caught in her throat and she froze absolutely still. She had sensed him before she heard him.

“Upupupu!” Monokuma climbed over the side of the roof that Pekoyama didn’t have a clear sightline to. “What have we he—?”

There was a blade at his throat before he could finish his thought. “Lower your voice or I’ll kill you,” Pekoyama whispered. She didn’t allow his unfeeling yet somehow cruel eyes to get the best of her. She didn’t blink, her mouth didn’t twitch; she may as well have been a statue ready to snap at any moment. It was important at this crucial junction, when her target could wake up at any time, that she remain in control of the situation.

“That wouldn’t be good,” Monokuma whispered in turn. “We all know what happens to rulebreakers.” The implication of what would happen upon assaulting the bear was not lost on her. While he was doing as she said by lowering his voice, his patronizing tone only served to anger her further. “Speaking of the rules, you are aware that destroying property without permission is…” His jagged red eye flashed. “...strictly prohibited.” Claws slid out from between his stubby fingers. Pekoyama’s heart skipped a beat. “I  _ would _ be willing to overlook one silly little rule though if you were to, say,  _ commit a murder _ ?” He said it as if he were asking her to pick up milk on the way home. 

This was her way out. Once Monokuma was out of the way there would be nothing standing between her and her goal. “I’ll consider it,” she said without skipping a beat. Monokuma remained impassive, as if waiting for something more. Pekoyama knew that she wasn’t getting into this cottage without the bear’s say-so. She compromised. “I guarantee that if my young master were ever in harm’s way, I would strike down his opponent without a moment’s hesitation.”

“Now we’re talking!” Monokuma used one of his claws to push the blade away, as it had not moved an inch since the beginning of the conversation. He waddled over to the partial hole and sat down next to it, implying that it was okay for her to continue. She plunged her sword back into the roof, finally back to work sawing a human-sized hole in the top of it. The process was going a lot faster than she had anticipated, and if Monokuma hadn’t been there, she might have been pleased.

“So why are you breaking into Tanaka’s cottage anyway?” The way he spoke made it seem as if they were sitting across from each other in the restaurant diner. In reality, they were in the middle of a situation that could easily lead to Pekoyama being persecuted by her classmates.

There was no point in lying to him if he could see everything that she did anyway. “He has something that I want.” 

“Fine, be vague all you want.” Monokuma swallowed his fish whole and stood up, walking over to the edge of the roof. “I hear that something way more interesting is going on in Nidai’s cottage anyway. Toodles!” He jumped off the edge of the roof into the water below. There was no splash.

Pekoyama thanked her lucky stars that Monokuma deemed whatever activity Nidai was doing more interesting than her. After taking a few seconds to pull herself back together for fear of making a mistake while stressed, she got back to work once more. 

All things said and done, it took about twenty-five minutes to cut out a hole large enough for her to fit through. Placing the round wheel of wood in a place that it wouldn’t roll off, she stuck her head down into the room. Her pigtails fell through as well, getting in her way as she twisted around to get a full view of the place. Tanaka, as she had been able to ascertain through the thin walls, was snoring loudly in his bed. He was still dressed in his usual eccentric scarf and trench coat, but Pekoyama chalked that up to the ensemble being difficult to take off and filed the detail away for later. The hamster jungle gym in the corner didn’t pose any immediate threat to her as long as she didn’t land directly on top of it. And, as she thought, the beam was directly beneath her. 

Not wasting a single second, she sheathed her sword and placed it next to the wheel of wood. She landed on the balls of her feet on the wood below, not making a single sound. Lowering herself carefully with both hands, she did the same down to the soft carpet. Beads of sweat began to drip down her forehead. Her memories before coming to the island were hazy of course, but she suspected that it had been a long time since she had last broken and entered. And certainly never going after a prize as valuable as this before.

It didn’t take long to find what she was looking for. The fuzzy forms of Tanaka’s hamsters were resting quietly all over his body. The fattest of them was draped across Tanaka’s eyes. Every time he breathed in and exhaled loudly, a tuft of the hamster’s fur would get blown upwards, then drape back down. His left hand was at his side palm up with the orange hamster resting in it. The remaining two were on Tanaka’s chest, and they could be distinguished from each other because one had a snot bubble coming out of its nose, expanding and contracting with the creature’s breathing. 

Pekoyama could hardly contain her excitement as she approached the bed. Her breathing was ragged and her cheeks were bright red. Her mind had been trained to analyze any situation in a fraction of a second, working much more efficiently than an untrained person’s. But at this particular moment, that combat genius brain was doing the furthest thing from analytics.

_ Holy shit it’s so fluffy. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I wanna pet it so bad. I have to pet it! I’m gonna pet it! _

She stopped her trembling hand before it could reach the object of her affection, Cham-P, the fluffiest of them all. It wasn’t enough to simply pet it. She came here for one reason, and one reason only. She had to  _ have  _ it. 

There were multiple reasons that she had selected the fat hamster. First, due to its excessive size, she assumed that it would be the easiest to wrangle. Second, thinking along the same lines, it would likely also be the most difficult to awaken from a deep slumber. 

Peko Pekoyama was proven wrong on both accounts.

With precision cultivated through years of training, she snatched the hamster off of Tanaka’s face without disturbing his sleep at all. What she hadn’t counted on, though, was that the hamster she was kidnapping  _ also _ had years of training.

“Scraa!” it screeched, breaking free from Pekoyama’s grasp and leaping clear across the room. If she didn’t have more self control, she would have cursed. There was no time to question how a seemingly normal hamster was able to jump nearly ten feet; it was time to move! The first place that Cham-P alighted was at the top of the hamster house, knocking an apparently removable facet of it clear off and down onto the floor. It clattered with such a loud noise that Pekoyama feared it would wake all of the adjoining cottages as well.

Cham-P seemed to land on every available surface of the entire cottage as Pekoyama did her best to track him with her eyes. Tanaka was sure to wake at any moment!

_ If you can slice an arrow in midair, you can catch an obese hamster,  _ she told herself. All it took was a little focus.

The hamster in question had hoped to clear Pekoyama’s head with its next jump, arcing high above her with the clear intention of escaping through the skylight that she had created. She leapt as high as she could, snatching the bulbous hamster straight out of the air with a much firmer grip than last time.

“Cham-P!” Tanaka shouted. Pekoyama froze. “Do not fraternize with mortals!  _ Their _ sunflower seeds are impure!” He snorted, returning to his normal cycle of snoring.

Pekoyama breathed a sigh of relief. She tried her hardest to get Cham-P to meet her gaze, but the hamster’s squirming in her vice-grip made it impossible. “I do not wish to hurt you,” she said as softly as she could. “I only wish…” Her mouth began to water as her other hand hovered above the hamster. Its squirming intensified. “...to  _ pet  _ you.”

The doorbell rang. Without a moment’s hesitation, Pekoyama leapt sideways and rolled under the bed, being careful to at not point put her weight on the poor hamster struggling in her grasp. She held her breath. The doorbell rang again, this time accompanied by some loud banging on the door itself. Pekoyama felt Tanaka jolt up in his bed and jump onto the floor. She watched as his bare feet made their way across the carpet to the door. “You are late,” he said as he opened it. “I fell prey to slumber while waiting.”

“Yeah, well, Hinata was bothering me and I didn’t want anybody to see me come over here!” Wait. That was her master’s voice.

She watched as Tanaka’s bare feet led Kuzuryuu’s black shoes into the center of the room, over the obnoxious hamster tunnel. “All is forgiven. Though I would caution you in the future to—”

“Can we just get started?” Kuzuryuu was obviously uncomfortable by the way his stance kept shifting. 

“First, payment.”

“Oh yeah.”

Pekoyama could only imagine what her young master handed Tanaka in the following second of silence until the latter sprinkled sunflower seeds all around their feet onto the floor. “Feast, my dark denizens!” The three hamsters not in the process of being abducted bounded off of the bed to the floor, where they appeared to have a contest for who could shove the most seeds in their mouth at once. Cham-P’s wriggling intensified.

His absence was not overlooked. “Cham-P!” Tanaka called out, craning his neck around the room. The hamster in questioned squeaked as loud as it could from underneath the bed. If Pekoyama had a hamster-sized muzzle she would have used it, but it was far too late for that. “What are you doing under there?” Tanaka made his way over.

Pekoyama saw no choice but to let her captive go. It was with a heavy heart that she released her grip, allowing the hamster to leap away, up into what she assumed was Tanaka’s waiting hand. Loud squealing ensued.

“What’s that? A woman with red eyes?” Tanaka must have had the hamster raised to his ear, listening to it. “Foolish Cham-P! That was just the Mistress of Suffering come to haunt our nightmares again!” He gave a throaty chuckle. 

“Okay yeah whatever!” Kuzuryuu interjected. “Can we get this over with?”

“As you wish.”

Pekoyama’s heart raced as she nervously watched Tanaka instruct Kuzuryuu to remove all clothing above the waist. Where she expected complaining or just outright refusal, she found compliance. Were these midnight rendezvouses common for the two of them? He was then instructed to sit facing a massive satanic rune on the wall, and Tanaka sat behind him. If either of them turned around, they would have a clear sightline to the girl under the bed. She did her best to conceal her presence by slowing her heart rate and silencing her breathing, but there was only so much one could do.

The two of them seeing her was not the only problem. Though she had not planned it that way, the hole Pekoyama had carved into the roof was on the side opposite that of the rising moon. Meaning that at the moment no moonlight was seeping through the hole into the room, but in however many minutes remained until midnight when the moon was directly above, it would be.

For the first time in her life, Peko Pekoyama had no plan. That being the case, she was forced to sit and watch her young master take part in the strangest thing she had ever seen him do.

“It fuckin’ tickles.” 

Tanaka had begun drawing a copy of the wall rune onto Kuzuryuu’s bare back with a black paintbrush. “Then the power is coursing into you exactly as expected.”

“It’s because the paintbrush is cold.”

“Nonsense.”

Kuzuryuu ran a hand through his hair, which he did when he was nervous. “Are you sure that all of this shit you’re doing is gonna make me taller?”

Pekoyama struggled to stifle one of the first genuine laughs that she had felt in days. The young master was allowing Tanaka to draw on his back because he promised that it would make him  _ taller _ ? How cute could her tiny charge be?

“I believe the word I used was more  _ powerful _ ,” Tanaka corrected, never losing focus on his drawing.

“Same difference.” Kuzuryuu grumbled some more things under his breath, none of which Pekoyama cared to pay attention to. Her mind was occupied with how she would escape the cottage.

Her odds of being able to jump and catch the beam going across the center of the room were questionable at best. Being able to do so soundlessly, even less so. There was a window across from the door, but she would almost certainly have to enter their line of sight to reach it. Especially with Kuzuryuu looking around the room trying to find something to focus on other than the man behind him. Trying to go out the door held an even lower chance of success. She became aware of an itching in her nose.

It couldn’t be.

Looking around, every surface of the room was covered in a thin layer of hamster hair. A cursory glance at her own person confirmed that there were tiny flecks of hamster dust all over her clothes and skin. Could she have been allergic to hamsters for her whole life and never realized it? Hamsters were strictly banned in the Kuzuryuu household. Aside from massive attack dogs chained up outside, and the occasional eccentric mafioso in possession of a black cat, domestic pets had no place in the mob. Thus, Pekoyama had never encountered a hamster in her entire life. It was part of the reason that she had done all of this!

Now this lack of knowledge of her own allergies was coming around to bite her. She knew how to suppress her footsteps, cast her shadow only in places on the floor that it would not be noticed, but no technique existed that she was aware of to stifle sneezes. If there was, she had never needed it before. Had she been asked a day earlier, she would say that she was allergic to nothing at all. Except, apparently, hamsters.

“Achoo.”

“What the fuck was that?” Kuzuryuu was immediately on his feet, rearing his head around like he was ready to leap at the first person who entered his vision.

Tanaka gripped his paintbrush like it was a magic wand, pointing it around the room. “Show yourself, demon!”

Pekoyama decided that the jig was up, rolling out from under the bed and to her feet in one motion with her hands up.

“Peko?” Kuzuryuu was dumbfounded. Having accidentally called Pekoyama by her first name in his surprise, his immediate transition back into being a supposedly badass yakuza was even more abrupt. “What the fuck are you doing here? Are you fucking stalking me? Huh, bastard?” His face was turning red, the veins that Pekoyama was all too familiar with beginning to pop out on his temple.

Tanaka crossed his arms. “By what means have you entered my dwelling?”

Kuzuryuu was walking toward Pekoyama with a new brand of rage than anything that she had experienced from him before. A pool of emotions congealed on his face, not the least of which being anger, but she was able to find the new element with relative ease. They had been friends since birth, after all. “You’d better fuckin’ answer me!” he shouted. It was clear to Pekoyama that this new element was embarrassment, in a much higher quantity than she had ever seen before.

“I will take my leave now.” Pekoyama put her hands down by her sides and power walked out of the room as fast as she possibly could. “I will also compensate you the appropriate amount of Monocoins,” she said to Tanaka.

“For what?” He looked around. He noticed the roof. “Oh.”

“Don’t you fucking walk away from me!” Kuzuryuu shouted, though he made no move to follow her.

She was already out the door by the time he said that. She was walking down the boardwalk between cottages. She was walking away from her young master, like she had vowed at the age of five to never do for as long as she lived. Like he had told her to do as soon as they arrived at the island. All for a fucking hamster that she barely even got to pet.

She had failed to stay out of Kuzuryuu’s way as he had specifically asked her to. What’s worse, she had managed to embarrass him in front of potentially the most embarrassing person on the island. The more she thought about how things had turned out, the deeper and deeper the pit in her stomach grew. She quickened her pace until she was sprinting, as if she could outrun the trail of failure that was lagging behind her. The tears came as soon as she was out of sight of the cottages.

* * *

Kuzuryuu found her in the hotel lobby. There was a mutual understanding between them that if she had not wished to be found he would not have found her, so there was really no point in her hiding at all. Perhaps some part of her just wanted to see if the young master would come looking despite knowing this fact.

Pekoyama was sitting behind the bar with her knees drawn up to her chin and her arms wrapped around them. She had long since stopped trying to deny the tears that were now marching slowly down her cheeks, one at a time. It was best not to overdo it when it came to these types of things, she found. 

How had it ended up like this? Just an hour or so ago she was commending him for calling her a freaky sword bitch but now, when he turned his anger on her just as he would anyone else discovered peeping on him, she had nothing but tears. How useless could she be?

Neither of them said anything as he came and sat down beside her, leaning up against the bar and stretching his legs out. It appeared that all he had taken the time to do was wipe the still wet paint off of his back and throw his white shirt on as fast as he could. He had done the buttons up wrong in his haste, leaving one half of his shirt longer than the other. Jacket and tie had been forsaken.

“Why were you in Tanaka’s cottage?” he asked.

Pekoyama didn’t look up. “I wanted to steal one of his hamsters.”

“Is that because all of the fuzzy farm animals run away from you?”

“Yes. And they are too large to humanely constrain.”

“Huh.”

The room was silent for a cluster of agonizing seconds.

“Why were you letting Tanaka draw on your back?” Pekoyama asked.

“He told me that he could make me powerful after he saw me reaching for some candy on the top shelf of the supermarket. I was an idiot to believe him.”

“You are not an idiot.”

Pekoyama looked up to find that Kuzuryuu was already looking at her. Not expecting to meet his gaze so quickly, she hated how vulnerable she must have looked. Still, she had not the strength to look away. There were still tears in her eyes.

“Why are you crying?” Kuzuryuu asked.

“I made you angry because I failed to stay away from you as instructed.”

“I wasn’t angry, I was just surprised. That’s it.”

Whether or not Pekoyama believed him was irrelevant. If that’s what her young master wanted her to believe, then she would. Acting unconsciously, she pulled him so that his head was resting on her shoulder with her arm wrapped around him.

“Hey, that’s—!”

“I know.”

Kuzuryuu’s face turned bright red, but he didn’t make any attempt to separate himself. Eventually his tight muscles relaxed, and Pekoyama was able to lay her head down on top of his. They sat like that for a long time, feeling each other’s body heat and watching the moon arc across the sky outside. They both thought back to when they were infants, and sitting like this was perfectly natural. It was perfectly natural all the way up through Kindergarten, until the young Kuzuryuu discovered cooties. Pekoyama was never permitted to believe in fictitious diseases, but played along with her young master anyway. And now, a decade later, they had returned to their old habits.

“This reminds me of when we got lost in the woods behind the house in the middle of January,” Pekoyama said. “And we were huddling against the cold.”

“And you killed that bear with a branch that you found on the ground.”

“I  _ was  _ only seven. I’m sure that a twig would suffice now.”

“But now instead of a regular bear and some woods, it’s a psychotic demon bear and fourteen people that might kill us,” he said.

“Somehow,” Pekoyama looked down at the boy beside her. “I do not think that’s going to happen.”

“You know I only wanted to get stronger so that I wouldn’t need you to protect me.”

“And why is that?”

“Well...you’re not always gonna be around. What if one day you’re off doing something and I have to defend myself?”

“If the day comes that I find myself otherwise occupied…” Pekoyama doubted that anything would have priority over her young master, but bought into his hypothetical situation regardless. “...then I believe that you will be ready, with or without demonic runes finger painted on your back.”

“He used a paintbrush!” 

Pekoyama heard Kuzuryuu’s high-pitched laugh for the first time since they got to the island and couldn’t help but join in. It started as a light bubbling in her stomach, which built until it erupted out of her mouth in the form of a girlish giggle. It felt weird, but after doing it for a few more moments, Pekoyama decided that she liked it. 

Kuzuryuu lifted his head off of her shoulder. “You know, I bet Tanaka would’ve let you pet his hamsters if you asked,” he said.

“You think?”

“Well maybe not  _ now _ .”

Pekoyama found herself giggling again. They kept going back and forth like that for a long time, long enough that the moon had reached its peak at the top of the sky and was well on the way back down. Except now the silence had been filled with their conversation. Sometimes they talked about their situation on the island and who they thought they could trust, and sometimes they recalled specific memories from their childhood where more often than not Pekoyama was the one to pull them out of trouble. What was most important, though, was not what they were talking about. It was that  _ they  _ were talking about it. Together.

Pekoyama felt her eyelids getting heavy. “You ready to go back to our cottages?” Kuzuryuu asked.

“Not yet.”

“Good.” He put his head back on her shoulder.

Pekoyama wasn’t sure when she fell asleep, but she knew that, fuzzy hamster or not, she was happy.


End file.
